Hello reader,

Do you own a long black trenchcoat? Do you sport an appalling goatee beard? Do you think Warren Ellis is the greatest writer who ever lived, much better than all those boring old dead guys they tried to teach you about in school? Do you hate "pikeys"? Do you drink cider? Do you sit in the pub drinking cider, wearing your trenchcoat and stroking your beard and talking about how clever Transmetropolitan is and how stupid "pikeys" are? Well do you? Do you?

Then why not stab yourself in the eye with a fork, to save me the bother?

(Sorry. Feeling a little unwell, and needed to vent. Happy happy thoughts to follow.)